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GARDEN

by Peter Harder

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1.
I could breath for a minute babe, But I lost the will to breath when I lost you. Everything had changed, I let go of the world I thought I knew. I had to think was it wrong of us, To fall in love when we knew we wouldn’t last? Yeah we jumped into this thing, I think I see went way too fast. I don’t know if I can to this baby, Every time I try to think it feels so bad. I find solace in my lack of feelings, And once I’m in I don’t want to go back. I don’t know if I can feel this anymore, Every time I try to help myself I fall. The world revolved around what I had seen us, And now its gone and I have nothing. At all, at all at all, at all, But now theres no one I knew, no. At all, at all at all, at all, Theres no one I knew.
2.
Poem 1 03:08
VERSE 1 You’re worth all the lows for the high, Yeah sometimes it gets worse in my mind. I lose sight when my hearts on the line, But if it moved to my sleeve then I’d be fine. I say too many things that I don’t mean, I’m just caught in a standstill machine. Can’t move on when I wont move my feet, Can’t complain if I ask to be beat. CHORUS But for you I have motive to try, Need your love while I’m giving you mine. No one else in the room I can see, But the way you are looking at me. VERSE 2 Cause I know that my mind plays the part, Of the mistress that tears us apart. No I can’t seem to move myself out, But for you I’ll try all the routs. Packed my bags I’m ready to leave, All my thoughts just to find us some peace. Run away from the thoughts that I can’t breathe, Fill my lung just to take the life from me. CHORUS But for you I have motive to try, Need your love while I’m giving you mine. No one else in the room I can see, But the way you are looking at me. BRIDGE For you bring out the best in me, Replace all my thoughts with your trees. Grow a whole damn new type of machine, Helps me know how bad I could have been. And you help me when I’m feeling low oh, Pick me up dust me off and I’m ready to go. No I’ve never felt like this before, Now I know that it’s you I live for. CHORUS But for you I have motive to try, Need your love while I’m giving you mine. No one else in the room I can see, But the way you are looking at me.
3.
VERSE 1 I was in the water, Stranded all alone. Baby, You didn’t come home. I was in the fire, Set off these tears. But there was one more night, I couldn’t stop my fears. So I wanted you to know, That there was nothing more. The flame went, Way too hight. I wanted you to see, That there was nothing more, And I was, Way too high. CHORUS You know you got me drowning, So why are you the one who. Saves me as well. With you I’m finally breathing, The air is ours so, Don’t you let me down. VERSE 2 And there was nothing, Nothing more to say, We took our lasting, Breath. No I couldn’t fight it, You were way too strong. So why would I let my self, Go on. I wanted you to show me, You had much more. In your mind, But why did you keep the score. I wanted you to know, That I saw so much more. And I still do so baby, Don’t push me down no more. CHORUS You know you got me drowning, So why are you the one who. Saves me as well. With you I’m finally breathing, The air is ours so, Don’t you let me down. BRIDGE No don’t you let me down, No don’t you let me down. Dont you let me, Down. Dont you let me down.
4.
LMS 04:42
The day break in my mind, Couldn’t tell me how I’d fine. Not one but two loose ends, The dark fear of the undertow, My own mind dipping down it’s own. Ended out without a friend. Step one I’m wasted, Step two we naked. Step three you leave me, I Cant even be me. I feel like i’ve lost myself. Wake in the morning, All sirens warning. I face the mirror, It’s all so clear. I’m not looking at myself. I’m losing my own mind, I don’t know where to find. What I’m looking for, I was there indoors. I’m all out of time, Does anyone know where I can find. The mind I’ve lost of my own. Cause I’ve been staring at the wall, And I’ve been going down. I’ve been losing my mind, Trying to get some help. Trying to get some help. But in the midst I lost myself. Losing myself yeah I’ve lost myself (x8)
5.
VERSE 1 Every night I wondered, When I would come back home. I lost the light I used to use, Looking for a sign but I found none. Every time I gain control, It slips away nothing to hold. I gotta testify it seems that I, Have lost all of my own gold. CHORUS Feel, Me in my home. Tonight. I’m the home, I wish. I knew. VERSE 2 I’m traveling on this road, Trynna figure out my way back home. Never knew that it would be so hard. Every entrance that I see is barred. I gotta ho home, I gotta go home. I gotta go home. Cause I’ve been staring at the door, For so damn long just trynna. Just trynna figure out a way to move back home. I’m alone I’m alone, I can’t do it on my own. No. CHORUS Feel, Me in my home. Tongiht. I’m the home, I wish. I knew. BRIDGE Feel at home, All alone. I’m trying to give myself, The throne. Feel feel, Feel feel me yeah. To the home won’t I, Figure out my. Way back way back, Mm no. It’s so damn hard when, I’m walking in the dark. PRE-CHORUS Feel, Me in my home. Tongiht. I’m the home, I wish. I knew. Oh. CHORUS Feel, Me in my home. Tongiht. I’m the home, I wish. I knew. To the home, I miss. I’m lost, But I’m trying My best.
6.
Verse 1 I know the feeling, Yeah I know my mind. Well enough, To know I wont let go. I know the warnings, Yeah I know my stripes. I know i know I know, I still hold on tight. Pre-Chorus But could this be the Fall I need. Bring me back up, To my feet. The fall is inevitable CHORUS I’ve had enough of Not being happy. Didn’t mean to lose me. Got lost in the moment, There’s no way to Bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down I’ve had enough of Not being happy Baby won’t you save me, Come and bring me back to The feeling that you gave me. And bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down. Verse 2 I am the feeling of never believing That anythings Gonna be okay. I am the deep end, Too far down to reach in. Pull me out just to Not feel safe. Maybe this could be the part where I, Fake it till I make it never see me cry. Only ever show myself my head held high, Never let them see inside. CHORUS I’ve had enough of Not being happy. Didn’t mean to lose me. Got lost in the moment, There’s no way to Bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down I’ve had enough of Not being happy Baby won’t you save me, Come and bring me back to The feeling that you gave me. And bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down. Bridge Maybe this could be the part where I Fake it till I make it never see me cry. Only ever show myself my head held high, Never let them see just what I’m hiding inside. Maybe I could take a breath and let them in, Bring down the pedestal from where I held my chin. Remove myself from where I build this ten foot wall, Just to remind myself that it’s okay to fall. CHORUS I’ve had enough of Not being happy. Didn’t mean to lose me. Got lost in the moment, There’s no way to Bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down I’ve had enough of Not being happy Baby won’t you save me, Come and bring me back to The feeling that you gave me. And bring me back down Bring me back down Bring me back down.
7.
VERSE 1 No you don’t choose, Feelings. You made me feel, Like I had to choose mine. PRE-CHORUS You said there was enough of me to love, So please tell me why you gave up. CHORUS The ropes that we’re given are shorter, Now we’ve been left out in the night. By the ones we know love us they feel they cant trust us, We’re told to give them time. They say that they’ll pray and they’ll hope we will change, But that’s something I don’t wanna do. Cause if we cant make it to heaven, At least I’m stuck in hell with you. Verse 2 No you don’t get, To control me. Now I see all Your reasons why. PRE-CHORUS Cause I knew something was different, When you looked me in the eyes. I know you don’t mean it, I know you don’t mean it. CHORUS The ropes that we’re given are shorter, Now we’ve been left out in the night. By the ones we know love us they feel they cant trust us, We’re told to give them time. They say that they’ll pray and they’ll hope we will change, But that’s something I don’t wanna do. Cause if we cant make it to heaven, At least I’m stuck in hell with you. BRDGE I feel so free when I’m with you, And I feel so free when I’m with you. No one could ever rip that from us, Try as they might Ill stick with you my love. I’ll stick with you my love. CHORUS The ropes that we’re given are shorter, Now we’ve been left out in the night. By the ones we know love us they feel they cant trust us, We’re told to give them time. They say that they’ll pray and they’ll hope we will change, But that’s something I don’t wanna do. Cause if we cant make it to heaven, At least I’m stuck in hell with you.

about

A musical journal of my past year, and the self growth that came with it.

credits

released February 8, 2019

Cover artwork by Mark Dela Cruz

Guitar on Track 7 done by Taylor Janzen

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Peter Harder Winnipeg, Manitoba

A Winnipeg based artist who writes, records and produces his own songs.

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